No sex please, we're married

Things have move on a bit recently. After a disappointing sex session a few days ago had left me with a bad taste in my mouth (pardon the pun) I decided to call time on that part of our reunion. Although it was exciting, creeping round to each other’s house while the children were still asleep, it felt like that was all our relationship was about, and to be honest, we were always quite well connected in bed.

So we needed to find other ways to rediscover each other and spend time together without getting naked. Easier said than done with three children who don’t know what’s going on, but are very savvy at the same time.

Then we hit upon an idea. He and the kids had been invited to some old mutual friends for the weekend. I had met up with them again a few weeks before, so the idea of us going en famille wasn’t entirely unreasonable. Our friends and the kids bought into the idea without too many questions, so off we went.

We arrived, separately, at about 5pm and had a very chilled evening. Our friends live in a massive, dreamy house in Oxfordshire, (not my kind of dream house, but then that sounds bitter) and are wonderful hosts. All was going well until my ex and I started having a bit too much fun playing air hockey in the kitchen. Our 16-year-old daughter chose this moment to have a freak out about her parents’ relationship.

You would have thought most children of separated parents would rejoice in the prospect of their mum and dad getting back together. Not our girl. She feels ‘deceived’ that me and her dad have been talking and not involving her (I just hope she’s not thinking about what else we’ve been up to!), she’s worried about how things will change and about losing her place as our ‘significant other’. All issues that both me and my ex did see coming with her. I tried talking to her, not very successfully after several glasses of wine, and let my ex take over.

So now we’re back in limbo. My daughter and I haven’t talked about ‘it’ since we’ve been back and I’m not sure when we will. It makes it all a bit too real for all of us. And I feel like her eyes are on me whenever I’m in the same room a my ex. It’s all a bit unsettling to be honest…